Tag Archives: pain

This is my…Getting back to normal day

29 Oct

Even though I know nothing will be back to normal again, I’m finally starting to feel human at least, so either my body is getting used to no sleep or I’m getting more rest in my cat naps than I realise. Either way, today I actually made it out of bed!
Granted it was only to go downstairs to make some bottles and saunter back up again but I’m trying to stay active to help stretch my back muscles and to stave off nasty things like DVT and piles. Also started the all important pelvic floor exercises, I like comedy shows, don’t want to leave a puddle when I laugh.

So apart from the usual nappies (he’s hiding the poop from us at the moment) feeding and watching him sleep I actually managed to get on the computer for a few moments mainly to thank everyone who’s sent us messages over the past few days, it really makes me feel loved that even people I’ve never met or haven’t spoken to in years have come out with beautiful comments. Big thankyous again.

Few other things that I’ve thought/noticed is, I have got the worlds sorest throat today, which I’m putting down to how hot the room is, a massive breeding ground for all bacteria. Yerp.
Other thing, I saw when I turned on the TV (for the first time since being back home) was a report on BBC breakfast news on…”Why Swaddling is bad for your baby“. Really felt like printing this off and pinning it to the midwife just to see if she believes anyone elses opinion. I’m guessing not.
As it happens, Kal is getting an ultrasound at some point to check his hips out as my sister was born bendy and she’s an immediate relation and I don’t pin him to within an inch of his life anyway, so I’m not really too fussed about this report from that point of view, but interesting to read that “too hot” is just as much, if not more, of a risk of cot death as “too cold” so from now on, I’m going to wrap my baby how I think is appropriate and to check his temperature with my thermometer as I can’t be dealing with yet another change to “accepted ways of doing things”.



This is my…Hospital Journey Pt 3

26 Oct

Last time on Hospital Adventures:

We left our daring new mum on ward at night with her screamer and 24 hours worth of observations for diabetes (and later to find out for meconium intake good job they were both only for 24 hours)

Really and truly nothing interesting happened at all today.
I spent pretty much 24 hours solid staring at or feeding my gorgeous little man.

First nappy change was a joy at 2am after a feed with no help in sight (They sent Chris home at 9pm yesterday) even after they said just press the buzzer if you wanted any help with the first change. Buzzer pressed, woman came, told me where the nappies were kept, left. Hang on, for starters, I brought my own bag I don’t need for fancy pants Pampers, and secondly I just wanted someone to sit with me, I know the concept of “bum goes here” but I just wanted to check that I wasn’t doing anything wrong or really that there wasn’t a more efficient way of working through it, or hell for all I know they needed to document that on a chart too.
Feed after that was pretty much the first snag I hit, he just kept feeding and feeding and feeding. The midwife said it was normal, but I’d have thought it meant he wasn’t getting enough or possibly I wasn’t producing enough. Either way we both got a got fed up with the whole thing.
Next feed he would hardly touch me so asking the midwife again they suggested I i try topping him up with formula milk from a little cup (so as not to get him used to bottles) and that worked, he only had about 10 mil top up from whatever he’d got from me, but that knocked him out for about 5 hours, so clearly he needed the extra whatever I’m not producing.

Anyhoo, in those 5 glorious sleepy hours, the troops reported and my mum, dad & sister and Chris’ mum came to gather round and have a poke & give lots of gifts to the already spoilt little man. Oh and a box of chocs for me (Cos I’ve not been spoilt enough!) No one wanted to pick him up because he looked so settled, but as he was already starting to stir (he does this very cute goldfish impersonation when he’s half asleep and hungry. Must be dreaming of food) I encouraged hugs, so both nannas had a hold and he sorta woke up to acknowledge them, but pretty much went right back to sleep after they left. Nice and antisocial like his mum and dad.

Rest of the afternoon just consisted of him getting poked and prodded to make sure he was all healthy. His blood sugar only dropped twice all the time we were there, once was the first test and it’s pretty much taken because I didn’t eat all Friday* that I had no sugar to give him any sugar in those first feeds & the only other one was the one before we started giving him top ups, which again to me is a sign that he’s not getting enough from me no matter how long he sat there. So finally at 9pm we were discharged and free to roam the outside world.

After the initial shock to the system of the outside weather (not that cold just very VERY windy) and the car journey home (that predictably knocked him out, something rumbly about cars that reminds babies of being in the womb, didn’t know I sounded like a 1.8L 1994 Toyota Celica) we got him all nice and settled in his moses basket and what was a pretty good nights sleep with only a couple of feeds and whingy moments.


*Did I mention they made me nil by mouth just in case I needed an emergency something or other? It’s ok they didn’t mention it to me until the cut off point for me to eat had passed. And then after he was here (literally right after he’d popped out and for the rest of the evening) I was still being sick so food pretty much put itself of the menu.

This is my…Hospital Journey Pt2

25 Oct

So last nights not knowing what the blue hell was going on, was followed swiftly by this mornings not knowing what the blue hell was going on. They took the person next to me to have her waters broken at about 8am and one lady across the way said that was what was planned for her too, but as far as I was aware I was still just planned for a day of walking to try and make things move of their own accord.
With that in mind I’d even told Chris not to hurry as bump didn’t seem to be in any hurry either.

No sooner had I said that than two women came in and said pack up all your things we’re moving you to the delivery suite.
But I’m not in labour.
Oh, we know, were gonna break you waters.
Lukckily they took so long doing my stats and hooking bump up to his heart rate monitor that Chris got there before the deed was done.
And let me just say, if you thought I’d been gross the past few days, this little man takes the crown as he’d managed to poo into the waters, which is usually a sign that they’re distressed, but all his heart rate readings were fine so pass on that one too.
After Niagara Falls was cleaned up I then had the fun of having a drip inserted into my arm. This drip was designed take the place of the hormone responsible for contractions (which I appeared to be missing altogether) And when they hit me sweet bejeebus i knew about it. Also much to my amusement they wait till this point to tell you that these hormones make the pain hurt more and they strongly recommend an epidural before things get too underway.
Ladies and gentlemen I would just like to take this moment to let you know the biggest and wrongest decision in my life was to say “Nah I’ll wait it out and see”
No. No. No. No.
Because, and I don’t exactly consider myself a wimp, when the first “mild one” hit me I felt like ripping out my womb and being done with it. I got to a couple more then finally bit the bullet and agreed to go ahead with it. The only reason I hesitated in the first place was because of the (albeit small) risks associated with them, and I was planning to do the normal thing and find my pain threshold by taking gas & air or Pethadine first, but I guess they knew I’d probably need it long term if he became distressed again.
So. Epidural. Thems are fun. And worse because silly silly me left it till I was already having contractions to start it, the poor anesthetist had to wait between me punching the side of the bed to get the needle in without going right through me. Managed it in the end, and couldn’t come soon enough. Lovely fuzzy legs and bump made it a lot easier to concentrate on the important things like getting the little man out of there.
And voila, by the time I was numbed to the eyeballs I was fully dilated and ready to go.
So I push.
And bumps heart rate goes through the floor.
So they wibbled him a bit
And I push.
And bumps heart rate goes through the floor again.
So they come to the decision that he needs to be out of there, and fast because something of my uterus is pushing down on him wrong. Thanks body.
Advise, forceps delivery, with emergency cesarean as Plan B.
Some squiggles on paper later (and top up of epidural which totally took out all sensation) and I was being motored through to theatre before I even knew what was happening. They do like to move quick once they’ve made a decision on something.
Quite a lot of the next bit is a blur due to everything moving quickly & there was a lot of people in the room all with various levels of equipment, but the two people I couldn’t have lived without was the wonderful midwife who had her hand on my belly to tell me when to push and of course to Chris who (thankfully) was there right by my side guiding me through everything. (Only later found out that my mum, who also had a forceps delivery with me, didn’t have dad by her side when in surgery & I can only imagine what they must have felt like with all these doctors and nurses and no familiar voice to guide to.)
But before I knew it, I had a lovely little (covered in poop) man in my arms for a very quick hug (Skin to skin, very important, or so they keep telling me) before he was whooshed away for his stats and a check on his vitals to make sure he hadn’t swallowed any of the lovely poop he was swimming about in.

Kal Owen Davidson – Born 25/10/13 – 15:52 – Weighing 6lb13

Kal Day 1

Kal Day 1

After theatre I was plonked in a recovery room to check all my stats for a while (couldn’t see a clock, no idea of time passing) and got some serious skin to skin cuddle time in with him, at which point one of the midwifey people came in and said did I want to try a feed now or wait till I was back in the delivery room, but seeing as the little one was already chewing his fingers off, I thought I could give it a go and see if I could get the hang of it, and no sooner had I got my boob out, there was a little face at it going like the clappers. The midwife actually said she’d never seen such a quick latch on. Clever man.

Back in the delivery room and it was just a series of tests over and over and over again, mainly to me to see if I’d actually got any feeling back in my body. It took a while but eventually they let me stand up and toddle myself to the bathroom to freshen up. This meant I was alive enough to go back onto the Ward for commencement of 24 hours of testing on poor little Kal for diabetes.

But that is for another day (mainly because I already feel like I’ve written 3000 words and technically the night time stuff means the days are already melting into one.

This is my…Most Attractive Feeling

22 Oct

Again, might be a bit gross in here, consider yourself warned. No I take that back it WILL be gross. I don’t even want to proof read this one

Isn’t pregnancy just the most classy thing ever.

I mean, to start with, hormones making my hair greasier than when I used to work in a cafe and covering my already manky facial features with a collection of bright red spots, makes me want to hide under the covers before the day has even begun.

This is all followed up by all the puking I’ve been through is just delightful, and when I have managed to get some food into me, I’ve not been able to get it out the other end with bump sitting on my large intestine. Oh and the 300 trips to the loo for wee wee land, lovely.

Then, when bump got bigger, & I got myself diagnosed with SPD every joint in my body clicks so you can hear me coming a mile off, and I groan and whinge & wheeze every step due to that or another random spell of dizziness. Also with bump making me look like the Hindenburg (with slightly more gas in me) I’m waddling around like John Wayne on laxatives.

Oh and lets not forget the testing my blood all the freaking time, meaning my hands look like pin cushions and hurt to touch anything.

But to top that all off today, turns out the sweep kinda worked.
In as much as it’s designed to loosed the “mucus plug” (the first line of defense against infection) which in turn is meant to start contractions and make my waters break (second line of defense), it managed the first bit, still no sign of the second bit.

And by god has my body produce a lot of whatever this gunk is made out of.
It’s been going all day in huge clumps of jelly like grossness (great, now I can’t eat jelly anymore). I don’t know why I was worried about getting water infections in the past as NOTHING would get past that amount of goo. Seriously, not even a nuclear rocket.

So, in summary, I’m a greasy, pukey, gassy, spotty,  gunky, holey, spherical hormone machine.

Anyone want a hug?

This is my…Last Clinic Appointment

21 Oct

With bump due tomorrow, and still no sign of any movement (other than twinges, which pretty much blend in with the rest of the pain I’m in) I was wondering what the plan of action would be.

So, when we got to the hospital today (and made full use of the car park right next to it, no 30 mile hike for me) for the clinic, I was kinda full of questions.

Just a quick note, this may get a tad more graphic than usual but it’s all in the name of informing other people. If you’re a tad squeamish or…male…I’d stop reading now. You’re not gonna miss much.

After the usual blood pressure and wee checks they asked me if I still wanted a “sweep” today, even though it’s technically the day before bumps due date.
I had read a bit online, and the main thing I noticed is they’re about 50/50 as to whether they even work or not, but I decided to go ahead with it anyway, as it’s a risk free way of (possibly) getting things going.
So, the technical description of a Membrane Sweep is:

A vaginal examination during which your midwife will use her finger to sweep the neck of your womb to try to separate the membranes from your cervix. This can encourage your body to release hormones called prostaglandins that work to soften and thin the cervix, which might encourage labour to start naturally in the next 48 hours.

The actual description (in my mind anyway) is:

The midwife will put her hand so far up you that she could probably control you like a ventriloquists dummy. And the gel is cold.

Or as I said to Chris:

Reaches places only a black man can get.

Anyway, after that I gingerly sat down to have a chat with the team of diabetic people (at least they drew a curtain round most of them as there would have been 6 people spectating) to discuss what happens next.
Well, as bump is good size and all ready to come out they offered me an induction date (providing this sweep does nothing) where they will insert artificial prostaglandins into the cervix to kick start labour.
So, I’ve booked to go into hospital Thursday night at 7pm where I assume they will get things going as soon as and to see if this works, if not, move into phase two, breaking waters. But we’ll see if it needs to get that far.

In some ways it’s great that I’ve got an actual date to go into hospital as this was one of my biggest worries about the time it would take to get from home to hospital, and where I would go if it was after normal hours etc, and this has taken that right out of my hands.
However, because I’m on ward, rather than delivery suite to start off with, Chris can’t stay with me 24/7, he has to leave 9pm and can’t get back till 9am, which is fine if nothing is happening (even though he wont sleep!) but if something DOES happen then we’re back at square one of Chris having to get from home to hospital before bump makes his big debut. I sense a few red lights being run.

Again, we’ll just have to see what happens, it’s still highly unlikely that round one of pessarys will make anything happen too quickly, and it’s only half an hour at most at night so here’s to keeping everything (including my legs) crossed.

This is my…Regretful Mobility

18 Oct

You’d think I’d have learnt by now.

Hip and back pain, not going away any time soon, well at least until bump is here, so any excess movement is a no no. And considering I call “excess movement” anything outside of the house, going for a walk round town is probably the worst idea ever.

Today, I decided I had enough energy to do just that (even though energy doesn’t always translate as lack of pain) so planned with Chris that I could come with him when he takes parcels into town.
Not bad, and would have probably been fine, had I not also decided that today was the day a few more things were gonna get crossed off the “must do” list. Mainly the things that I genuinely MUST DO before bump gets here.

So, rummage around in the airing cupboard and we found some lovely floral (yuk) curtains to hang on those rails my dad put up nearly a week ago (you can’t say I rush into any decision) problem being, there was only two of them, and 3 windows. After contemplation whether it would be best to hang them and one other lovely salmon coloured one, or leave the smaller severely off coloured (I think it used to be white, it’s now creamy-brown. Again, yuk) one up.
Eventually decided on the off white one, as it’s just about closer to the yellow floral ones than anything else, and the floral ones cover both the big windows fine. They’re even lined!

Flushed with that bit of success, Chris then asked for my help in getting the car seat installed.
And here’s where we hit a slight snag.
Chris has a lovely car, it even has 4 seats (all with working seatbelts!) so bump seat can fit in. But. No back doors. So it looks like bump + seat will have to come out on mass every time, as it’s almost impossible to get him in or out without it as someone decided the seat had to be rear facing.
So after a lot of swearing and making sure everyone on the whole street knew how to get the seat in and out easily we finally managed to get into town, by which time I was already half dead from leaning over the car.
Still somehow managed to make it to Boots (Again. I keep forgetting stuff every time. I wish they did home deliveries) WH Smiths (I’m now stocked up on Take A Breaks for hospital) and Poundland (6 pack of hula hoops for 99+1p. Yes please) before just about making it home in time to collapse back to bed for a few hours. Then a few more. Then not be able to move because I’d seized up into a giant ball of hip and back pain.

Followed by the usual swearing to the almighty gods of pain, I’ll not leave the house till labour starts.
Which will probably last till…tomorrow.

This is my…39th Week!

15 Oct

One week to go!

I’m so far along in my pregnancy now that most of my baby club emails have stopped sending me stuff as I guess they assume something will have happened by now, and Pampers even sent me one congratulating me on the safe arrival of my new little one. Literally, a bit premature there Pampers. And as you’re unlikely to get any of my business anyway, there’s no point trying to jump in ahead of everyone else.

So, he’s still there, still cooking, just putting on more and more weight (yay, that’ll make it easier to get out. NOT) and exercising more and more of his muscles, and I can so feel him wibbling around…day and night…night and day, that combined with the Braxton Hicks contractions mean my belly is currently doing a pretty good impression of a lava lamp.

This also means my sleep is still non-existant. It seems physically impossible for me to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. I have no idea what is waking me up, not the toilet, not really bumpy as he’s on all the time so nothing changes after two hours. All it means is I don’t feel like I’ve slept properly in months.
I guess it’s all a sign of things to come. I would say with more crying, but between Chris and the cats I’ve already got a fair bit of wailing in my life!

So, other than the usual “everything-hurts-lets-strap-a-hot-water-bottle-to-it-till-it-gives-in” and the grand unveiling of the central heating system for the first time this year, life is still moseying on, with as little getting out of bed as I can manage. And boy am I getting good at it.

This is my…37th Week!

1 Oct

Bumpy is officially cooked!

Week 37 bumps are now considered full term and are all ready for their adventure into the big wide world, and if they are anything as impatient as I was, he’ll be here any day now!

However, he’s shown no signs of making a move, I feel he’s still quite high up and other than horrendous back pain, I’ve not felt anything that can be described as relevant twinges so I guess he’s just making the most of his squishy hotel room until he’s forcibly evicted in the near(ish) future.

If he’s on track still, he’ll be weighing about 6.5lb and measuring up at about 50cm. He can curl fingers and toes, turn his head and opening his mouth when something touches his cheek. He can also make a slight distinction between mum and dad’s voice, which would be a lot easier if Chris stopped making silly high pitched noises at my bump. Poor boy is gonna be confused when he comes out over which is mummy or daddy!

All the baby clubs say I should be catching up with friends now as I probably wont get to see them for a while once bump is here, so if you could all form an orderly queue round the house that’d be brill, ‘cept for Georgie as she’s made a special effort coming from Australia (not just to see me, I’d like to point out) that I can manage to get off my backside and meet her in the city.
These same clubs also say now is a good time for spring cleaning, but in the comments sections most women have said they only felt like cleaning right before they went into labour, like a last minute nesting session. So I’m quite glad I don’t seem to have that urge yet. Though bumps room is gathering a layer of dust over it. God knows from where. But it’s there. *twitch*

I sense another list coming on…

This is my…Broken Joints

29 Sep

Not exactly broken, but it certainly feels like most of them have decided to go on a holiday without me.

I know my joints are supposed to be loosening up ready for movement down there, but the fact is, as I have mentioned before, my back and hips have been wobbly for months, hence why I had that physio appointment all those many moons ago, to try and stop or slow down the future stretchyness.
Clearly nothing that was recommended to me has done much, exercises on the ball, getting in & out of bed/cars carefully and my support band (which doesn’t actually fit round bump anymore and I’m not that big) as it’s still getting worse.
To a point I can put up with this, and again Chris has been brilliant, I’ve hardly left my bed some days, but even sitting in comfy bed is still putting a lot of pressure on a weak tailbone (Why do we even have tailbones?!) which means I have to get into a slouch position to relieve it, but that then hurts my back and butt cheek, which I usually forget until I move and nearly black out from the pain, or the slouch position, especially when accompanied by food, causes THE WORST heartburn known to mankind. And a lot of sleep has been lost because of it.

The worst thing at the moment though is my wrist.
I wish someone could explain to me why my wrist needs to loosen up to make birth easier? All this means is when I try and move myself anywhere, it crumples and I faceplant the pillow, table, floor whatever is closest.

Thank goodness for Tesco home delivery as shopping is so far out of the question.

On this subject I would just like to do another shout out for my friends Heather & Lucy Willis and awareness of their condition, Hyper Mobility Syndrome & more specifically Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
It just hits it home, that I have all these problems with my joints giving me a very very small insight into what they have to live with everyday, and at least I don’t dislocate every 5 seconds, but (hopefully) mine will return to normal once bump is here, these people have to live with it every day with very little recourse on the horizon. And what happens when they get pregnant, and their joints get even more flimsy?
So, you all need to check out this website http://hypermobility.org/ and if you can, make a donation or buy something awesome from the shop (I highly recommend the black and white wrist bands)

This is my…Invisible Bump

17 Sep

Oooh, this boy is a beast.

He has been the most hyperactive bump known to humankind all the way through this pregnancy so far, haven’t even bothered counting 10 kicks because he’s usually at that before breakfast.
But this morning, nothing.
Ok, so I didn’t have a spectacular nights sleep the night before so I thought with all my tossing and turning about, he probably was just still sleeping.
Throughout the day, I didn’t pay much attention to him, but usually when I’m sitting up eating, or drinking a fizzy drink he gives me a boot or two to tell me what he thinks of my diet.
Still nothing.
Getting slightly worried now, so I think I’ll take matters into my own hands. As recommended by the bump clubs, drink something sweet like fruit juice and lie on your left side for an hour and count the kicks. One orange capri-sun and one hour later, still nothing.
By now I’m really getting concerned so I phoned the out of hours midwife service (basically the central delivery suite at James Padget) and she says to do basically the same thing, but with ice cold water.
Another hour gone, and there’s a possibility he’s kicked once, and even so that was really really faint or may just have been me with hiccups.
By this point, we really had to take a drive to the hospital just to check he hadn’t actually vanished, as even if that was a kick from him, it’s still less than the 10 they recommend a day and a hell of a lot less than I had been getting.
Luckily quite a quick drive up there, despite hitting 3 different sets of roadworks on route. When we got there, it hit me, that if I went into labour this time of night I’d have no idea where to go or what to do as reception is very much closed.
Treating this as a dummy run, we went through A&E (nice and quiet on a Tuesday) and through the rest of the hospital. Good job I’d been up to that part of the hospital before as it’s not exactly clear where to go (and thinking, if I have to do that run whilst in labour, the whole hospital is gonna be awake, as it’s not exactly next to the front door)

So, soon as I got in there, for the first time ever, in recorded history, my blood pressure was above normal. Not a huge amount at all, but just enough that I can’t say “Well at least my blood pressure is still fine!”
Which considering what I’ve already been through in this pregnancy is a freaking miracle.
After that, when she attached the heartbeat monitor to my belly, he was there. Exactly where we’d left him. Little heartbeat galloping away.
She then attached another one a bit higher up that measured my fake contractions and picked up any movement he made.
Turns out it wasn’t me being solely paranoid as he didn’t move much to begin with, till she asked me to turn on my side and poked him a bit, at which point he was all feet a-blazin’ and boy could I feel him.
She kept me pinned to this monitor for 15 min before she turned me, then another 15 min after she turned me back (was really hard to pick up a heartbeat on my side due to where he was laying and my layers of fatty fat fat) then a further 15 min because he was being TOO active, then another 15 min waiting to see if it was ok to sign me off and back out into the cold.

So, anyway, he’s all ok, back to being his usual beasty self and I’m back to normal blood pressure.

This is my...

This is my blog, this is my family, this is my life.

The Elements of Creation

Freelance Writer

Tales of an E-Commerce Assistant

An insight into what it is like working in E-Retail

Suffolk Arts

The arts in Suffolk

Project Paraguay

By Jessamy Adams