This is my…Garden Chaos

9 Mar

I love making more work for myself, eh?

Not content with the last few years having dug about 6 foot all over my garden with the plan of getting rid of a stupid amount of this plant


Which as pretty as it looks, is basically the plant equivalent of, lets say, swine flu. Once you have it, usually the safest thing to do is to set fire to your garden and start again.
However, because the old dear that had the garden before Chris had done such a good job on the other shrubs and roses, I felt duty bound to save them and pull this out by its roots.

Having done all of that, the worst I should have to do is trim back the Buddleia & big shrubs, take up all last years bedding and fruit, replant the bedding and fruit and weed the odd thistle that’s made itself at home.

So, Friday, I started hacking away at the Buddleia, filled my green wheelie bin in about 10 seconds. Which was a good job as the little man did a mahoosive poop, and I had to come back in.
So far be it for me to wait till that gets emptied a week on Monday, I called dad and asked if he still had any of his big builders bags (the ones that 10 tonnes of sand get delivered in by crane) and if he could take a couple of them full down the tip.
Done and done.
So a bit later Friday, one of them got filled up with the rest of the Buddleia and by Saturday lunchtime the other one had been filled up with the old bedding plants, fruit, grass clippings & general garden crap.

Then, and here’s the fun bit, I decided it would be a good idea to dig up the compost heap. Despite throwing stuff on it the past couple of years, I came to the conclusion that it’s not much use to me, owing to the fact that I not only never use it, the garden is pretty much level, it’s full of convolvulus that I don’t really want to spread back round the garden and it’s also full of years worth of other rubbish that’s just been dumped there. For example, today I pulled out a Megadrive controller.
I’m pretty much sure Megadrives only grow in Japan.

So I got dad to replace those two with another 3 because even if I waited they don’t let you put just straight-up soil in the green bin, so if it’s going, it’ll have to go to the tip. After fueling myself with a roast, I got to filling these 3 up with the remainder of the twigs from the top of the heap and started the arduous task of shoveling layers of fully composted soil, all the while checking for glass, stones, pottery and controllers.

I had these bags filled (well, so a human could still move/drag them) in about 30 min, and still don’t feel like I’ve made a dent in it, so dad has left me with 4 more bags in their place (it feels like the sorcerers apprentice, 2 became 3 became 4)

So, if anyone wants to come take some soil from me, I really don’t mind.
I could even weed it if, someone wanted to take it away.
Free to a good home.
Or a bad home.
Go on.
Abuse it.
Eat it.
Give it as a gift.


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